Songs with unexpectedly disturbing lyrics

Posted: March 2, 2012 in голи идеи
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

All of us have a special relationship with the music we listen to, and just like in real-life relationships, we tend not to always pay much attention to what the other one is saying, at best you get a few catchy phrases or a chorus. So what we do is try to make out the mood by the tone, and we sometimes make mistakes, both with songs and our partners. Actually, let’s make matters worse, imagine you don’t even speak the same language as your beloved music. In this article we’ll take a look at some songs conveying a message completely different from what you probably experience listening to them.

1.    Blondie- One Way Or Another

What it sounds like: “I’ll get the man I want, no matter what.”

What it’s actually about:  This song has been mentioned at #6 on “Revenge is a Bitch: The 10 Most Bitter Female Rock Songs”, but if you don’t read into it even that much, and especially if you are not a native English speaker, it can really go either way for you- a revenge song, or a track about determination to get your man.

 “I’ll get the man I want, no matter what, and I’m gonna kill his ass!” and also, creepily stalking him for a long time before said murder. 

I will drive past your house
And if the lights are all down
I’ll see who’s around

And if the lights are all out
I’ll follow your bus downtown
See who’s hanging out

You’d expect a woman who looks like this to have something better to do on a random night.

Imagine all the effort put into the supposed murder of this man, who probably doesn’t even know why this is happening to him! Today this manic invasion of privacy the lyrical heroine executes meticulously can easily be done with the help of Facebook. Good for you, ladies! And I leave you with the last quote of homicidal insanity.

I’ll walk down the mall
Stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all
Find out who ya call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout
Some specials and rat food, get lost in the crowd

2.    Sonic Youth- Incinerate

What it sounds like: an awesome Sonic Youth song, probably about… no idea, but it’s cool!

What it’s actually about: alleged metaphor aside, this is all about homicide by means of arson and grenade blast, and maybe a little suicide attempt thrown in to compete the preset mood of death. And here is the actual song.

How am I so sure? Well, if you really want the song to take on a different meaning, there’s   plenty to work with. However, this doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like to kill her and it is undoubtedly homicidal and bitter with lines like

I ripped yr heart out from yr chest
Replaced it with a grenade blast

But this Bruno Mars type of death is not dramatic enough, so commence the Hellfire!

Firefighters hose me down
I don’t care I’ll burn out anyhow
It’s 4 alarm girl nothing to see
Hear the sirens come for me
You dosed my soul with gasoline
You flicked a match into my brain

All this pain and hate errupts from a track with great riffs and a mellow mood. The last two lines only keeps us guessing what sort of crime is punishable by burning you alive. Perhaps she told him something horrible like that the world is round and orbits around the Sun? Well, doesn’t matter, she’s dead now.

I remember you so cold as ice
Now flames are licking at yr feet
Sirens come to put me out of misery

I love Sonic Youth anyway, and that’s how I like to remember them:

Like weird yellow people with an obsession for water-mellon

3.    Lily Allen- Not Big

What it sounds like: the fun life of Lily Allen

What it’s actually about: small dick.

Yeah, the title kind of hints to that, but this song goes way beyond mere size. It actually goes about half an infinity further into the various problems Mr. Dick can have, than it rightfully should. We know Allen to be famous for her scandalous mouth and behavior, but what we have on our hands here is a new type of art- the art of smashing a man’s ego to the ground with sweet-voiced feminine douchebaggery. Officially, Lily Allen can be crowned Queen of this art. Here are some of the best moments:

Alright, how would it make you feel if I said

 that you never ever made me come?

Yeah, you really must think you’re great,
Let’s see how you feel in a couple of weeks,
When I work my way through your mates.

You’ve only got yourself to blame,
I’m gonna tell them that you’re rubbish in bed now
And that you’re small in the game.


And so she did, with her lovable face and caressing voice she made sure this unnamed man ever gets a proper erection, because after such a bashing, his penis probably ran away to hide in a cave somewhere in Northern Russia.

yes, penis, Lily is laughing at you!

Sure, that’s the usual trick in Allen’s songs, and this one in particular justifies why I haven’t read any of the others. After I recognized what Not Big is about I had no choice but hate it! Damn you, lack of ignorance!

The Worst Part:

Yeah, let’s rewind, let’s turn back time to when you couldn’t get it up,
You know what it shoulda ended there,
That’s when I shoulda shown you the door.
As if that weren’t enough to deal with,
You became premature.

It must suck to be this guy, especially if his identity was revealed. Out of decency we didn’t research it. Imagine walking into a convenience store immediately being recognized as the guy from Not Big. We feel so bad for this person we’d like to think he later co-wrote “Jizz In My Pants” with The Lonely Island as a sort of compensation.

4.    Amanda Palmer- Map of  Tasmania

What it sounds like: a ukulele party jamboree about jamborees

What it’s actually about: pubic haircuts

And I mean all sorts of pubic haircuts! Who would’ve guessed this sort of indecency would come from a woman like this one:

ok, so maybe there were a few signs

Applause to the amazing Miss Amanda Palmer- a prominent supporter of female body hair, proudly sporting her armpits, and now singing about crotch hair design.

Soft and sweet and shaped like a triangle
Some girls want no shape and they shave it all
That’s so whack, it hurts with the stubble
Walking ’round and look like an eight-year-old

Fair enough, I can take the point this gentle region doesn’t need to be shaved clean, but Amanda Palmer takes it one step further, as crazy women are bound to do:

I say grow that shit like a jungle
Give ‘em something strong to hold onto
Let it fly in the open wind
If it get too bushy, you can trim

In case I fall off a window, it would probably be useful to have some Rapuntzel-long pubic hair to hold on to, though I am fairly certain it won’t be my first choice of things to grab.

Not all of us were aware of the slang for “map of Tasmania” , but it probably wasn’t going to be the first thing to cross your mind too. I consulted Urban Dictionary and it so politely referred us to this colorful explanation:

And I leave you with this wonderful video of all the artistic ways to beautify your Southern regions, or you can just, you know, let them fly in the open wind, see how that works out for you.

5.    Gnarles Barkley- Necromancer

What it sounds like: a song about sex and romance

What it’s actually about: a song about sex and romance, with a corpse.

The collaboration between Cee-Lo Green and Danger Mouse gave us two remarkable albums and some of the top singles in the previous five years. 

also, they destroyed The Matrix

Of all the romantic and personal subjects they tackled, this one saw no single release, and I wonder why? Probably somebody decided necrophilia wouldn’t sit as well with the general public as Lady Gaga’s shenanigans. And it’s not like you can fool yourself for the meaning of the lyrics either, Cee-Lo says it in the first lines:

It’s naughty
Very naughty
Necrophilia

But hey, who knows! Maybe he meant something about the spiritual death of a modern-day man or… no, there’s no other explanation. Obviously what we are dealing with here is a Cannibal Corpse rejected text, and Gnarles Barkley have turned it into awesome music, though it’s deeply disturbing content.

I whisper in her ear 
To hear an echo
Echo, co, co
I keep her
It’s cheaper
I love
her too much to let go

This is a very wise financial decision considering the economy, however, this one bizarre romance has an unhappy ending, and no, it wasn’t due to decomposition! As it turned out in the end, she was alive after all.

Come back to see this house
Done what I could to revive
My soft side survived
Man
Thought you was alright
 
And she was alive

You almost feel sorry, because this guy was so committed and thrilled:

Did you hear what I said
With this ring I do wed
A body in my bed
She was cool when I met her
But I think I like her better
Dead


So he basically was ready to do what Beyonce advises us all- if you like it than you better put a ring on it! Bet Bee didn’t foresee this scenario, but honestly, neither did I. We can only have nightmares of the wedding:

Yeah, that feels about right … considering the circumstances

Honorable Mention: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds- The Ballad of Robert Moore and Betty Coltrane

What it sounds like: the only lively song Nick Cave made and is not about murder

What it actually is: one of the many lively songs Nick Cave made and is about murders.

In a typical Nick Cave tradition, this song is actually an insane wicked tale of love and death, and a lot is going on in this one, and nothing is explained. Just enjoy the homicides as they follow one another:

Well, the sailor said “I’m looking for my wife,
they call her Betty Coltrain!”
The frog-eyed man said “That can’t be;
that’s my wife’s maiden name.”
And the man with the wing-nut ears said,
“Hey, I married her back in Spain!”
and Betty Coltrain crossed herself beneath the table.

So we get the idea, she is a smart jezebel, using one man after the other. The situation at the bar is heating up and Robert Moore starts killing people:

Well, Robert Moore stepped up and said
“That woman is my wife.”

And he shot the man with the wing-nut ears
straight between the eyes

The frog-eyed man jumped at Robert Moore,
who stabbed him in the chest
and as Mister Frog-eyes died he said
“Betty, your the girl that I loved best!”

We have to note that obviously Betty Coltrane likes mutants, and probably sailors and crazy killers, a woman of refined taste, indeed.

The sailor pulled a razor,
Robert blasted it to bits
“And Betty, I know you’re under the table.”

At this point all seems to be over, the people who are not already dead are probably kept down by their pants full of the heaviest manure only fear can produce. So Betty has lost, she might as well give herself up to Robert Moore and love him in whatever wicked way he demands.

You are the blessed’ sun, girl
and you are the sacred moon.”
and Betty shot his legs out from under the table!

She put the gun to the back of his head
and pulled the trigger once more
and blew his brains out all over the table!

 

Oh, no, she didn’t! I suppose that is the only way to deal with four husbands when they get rowdy. We’ll walk slowly away from this list with this last quote, because it is creeping us out.

Said, “I’m sorry Mr Barman
to leave your place this way.”
As she emptied out their wallets she said,
“I’ll collect my severence pay.”
and then she winked and threw a dollar on the table.

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Comments
  1. I like this site it’s a master piece! Glad I observed this on google.

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